What’s Your Excuse?

Sarah is not fasting. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you’ll remember how she was due to begin fasting last week. She wants to cleanse the toxins from her body by surviving on some lemon-based drink concoction for ten days. She should be well into the fast, over the halfway point by now. But she’s apparently eating pretty regularly.

I’m a little disappointed. I chose to fly east this week to see some family, thereby avoiding any fast-induced rampages. But it looks like I won’t be spared.

Or will I? See, she could be fasting, but those lame excuses keep getting in the way. You know what I’m talking about. It’s how you rationalize not going to the gym, or doing homework or whatever.

“I was going to start today, but I thought, you know, I need to finish the eggs in the fridge, cause I don’t want them to go bad.”

“Yea that’s a good idea honey.”

The next day, I call her again.

“How’s the fast going?”

“Well. Here’s the thing. I was going to start this morning, but last night, I found out this friend was coming into town, and we’ll probably go out, and I don’t want to just sit there drinking water. You know?”

“Yea.”

“Also, I may go the Giants game this weekend.”

“Well, you can’t be expected to not drink beer, right?”

“I know. Plus, there’s the garlic fries.”

Sometimes it’s nice to just chill on the couch, resting on your lame excuses. But they start to eat away at me. Excuses are the reason why I’m not a millionaire. They’re also to blame for my stalled great American novel. Which I ought to be starting any day now, just as soon as I finish watching “American Idol.”

-Brendan

Comments

Very glad to hear this. Toxins are cleansed with your kidney and liver already. If she's feeling icky, she should up her intake of water and eat healthful foods (an occasional portion of garlic fries isn't so bad, of course).

My grandmother lived to be 102 without ever needing any special toxin cleaning diet.

Just eat right, exercise a bit, and your body will do the rest.

Haha when you talk to her again just tell her to do more pushaways, you know push away from the dinner table after one helping!*

*seriously don't do this

I'm glad she's not doing it. Maybe because somewhere inside, she knows it's not healthy? The Lemonade Diet (as the lemon concoction fast is also known) will make you lose weight as well as make you dispose of all that's in your, uhhh, colon and then some but then, when you stop, your body tries to regulate and things are back to normal as soon as you're eating "regular" foods again. It causes more trauma than just changing to an organic or whole foods diet, which it sounds like she's pretty good about doing anyway.

Fast = Bad! (and a little stupid)

A Giants game is a perfectly good excuse to not fast. Ever. Hot dogs?! Garlic fries!? Who wants to fast with that around to tempt you?