He's Making a List, and Checking It Thrice...
Brendan is the planner in the relationship. He insists on making lists, running errands, and constantly keeping our lives in order at all waking hours of the day. He's hyper-responsible, and I love him for it. Things don't just fall through the cracks with this guy, and I can't say enough for the virtue of dependability.
But I'm not like Brendan. While I'm not a basket case by any stretch, my attitude is more of a "when it really needs to get done, it'll get done, and it doesn't really need to get done right this second" than "let's just bang it out, first thing in the morning, before we order coffee". I don't necessarily think I have the right attitude, but it's the only one I've ever had, and I've done OK in life so far. Sometimes I prefer to ignore a menial task for a little while to enjoy a warm, tasty beverage instead, during which period I feel no guilt or pressure to rush myself along.
Poor Brendan doesn't handle this well. My laissez-faire attitude toward a mandatory trip to the ATM in Anytown, India, puts him over the edge. "But what if it runs out of money reserves, or isn't open 24 hours?" he'll ask. "Honey, it's 11 a.m. on Wednesday," I'll say gently. "I think we'll be fine. Just sit down and relax for a bit." My cool, calm responses, designed to soothe and settle, usually cause Brendan to start pacing the room and are often accompanied by long sighs and obsessive wristwatch glances. He also wants to know what my thoughts are for dinner half an hour after lunch is over. He's not trying to be a freak, he just wants to plan out our evening well in advance. But it truly is freakish. I'm stuffed, man...don't even talk to me about dinner right now. It's all I can do not to chain him to a yoga mat or slip him some Xanax.
Under normal circumstances, our personalities aren't so wildly different that we clash too badly, but tensions tend to flare up a lot more often when you and your loved one are backpacking across the world. Sometimes I just want to sit on a rock, look out onto the river, and contemplate our existence. All afternoon. I know I have to buy those train tickets, but you know, the ticket office will be open tomorrow, and the weather is just perfect today. Who really wants to live according to plan, anyway?That's what I love about traveling. What Brendan loves about traveling is making plans so that we have the free time to sit on that rock, even though the rock may have to wait until those plans have been executed.
I guess in theory, we're working toward the same goal. But I really must insist he stop pacing.
-Sarah
Comments
Wow. I don't really know how it'll be living with someone who loves planning out everything. It's just so much easier to procrastinate, but I suppose your opposite personalities on this issue could actually help balance each other out. Perhaps Brendan could learn to relax a little and Sarah could learn not to procrastinate too much. Anyway, hope he stops his pacing...hehe.. :)
brendan's playing ur daddy. u b a good kid
brendan's playing ur daddy. u b a good kid
I love hearing stories about how totally opposite people make relationships work! Everyone could use wisdom in that area.
I think all couples have some qualities a like and some that are opposites. The trick is to control those 'slip him a xanax' urges whenever possible. :)
I'm the same way Brendan is being a planner and all.. and my boyfriend is not but we still make it work :)
wow!! i learned something today.. girl, u just have to adopt sometines..
Sarah,
I'm exactly in your shoes. Sometimes I wonder how we'd ever get anything done if it weren't for my planning boyfriend. Viva la difference!
Well, I have to agree with your husband about the right way to travel. I'm a planner too, but I don't like to do all the dirty work, so last week when one of my male friends and I dashed off to Santa Cruz I planned nothing. He didn't want to help me get things in order, and I was overwhelmed. So I just didn't. And it was frustrating that we didn't end up doing much-- I wanted to explore the area, snag a surfing class, and get involved with the nightlife-- and we just lounged around and visited an aquarium. Oh well. I'll find someone like me, someday.
zgh@163.com
On personal opinion, I find this very helpful.
Guys, I have also posted some more relevant info further on this, not sure if you find it useful: http://www.bidmaxhost.com/forum/
