Q & A

We eat out. A lot. Since we've been traveling, I estimate that we've eaten out 450 times. That's about three times a day, every day, for 5 months. And Sarah still hasn't really got the whole ordering thing down yet.

You'd think by now that she'd have mastered the whole "waitress comes over, we order some food, waitress goes away" routine by now, but no. In Asia, once they give you the menus, the waitress will just stand over you waiting for you to decide. Sarah can not handle this. It makes her very nervous. She feels like she's being unfairly pressured. She will look at me with pleading eyes, because the longer the waitress stands there, the more Sarah loses her poise. You can't tell them to leave, because they'll never come back. But she can't focus on the menu. All she can think about is the well-meaning teenager in a stained uniform smiling at us. It's excruciating.

After a few minutes, I will ask her if she wants to order, and every time, without fail, she will say, "No dear, you go ahead."

"Fried noodles please. (pause) Honey?"

Staring at the menu, "Uuuuum, um, um, um, um, um... I'll have a turkey salad sandwich please."

Sarah has a knack for ordering the weirdest thing on the menu. And when I say weirdest, I mean the one dish guaranteed to be disgusting. Poor thing. She just can't handle the pressure.

Meal times are when we get to sit and chat. We compare notes on strange things we see. The first week we're in a new country, we have so much to talk about at meals that we sound like a Sienfeld episode, making witty yet superficial observations.

"The rickshaw drivers here seem to be less aggressive than the ones in Vietnam."

"You noticed that too?"

"What is the deal with the old ladies carrying baskets on their heads everywhere they go?"

"Really. It's like they're carrying laundry hampers across town or something."

And so on.

After a few days, we've exhausted all our snarky comments, so meal times are usually spent reading. We can sit in silence, just reading our respective novels, picking over a fruit salad for her and a chicken and rice dish for me. It's great. But the silence never lasts. It's broken by her questions.

She has a very curious mind, and when reading something she doesn't immediately understand, she will ask me what it means, much in the way a fourth grader might ask her father. It's adorable.

I'm eating, looking down at my book. Suddenly she pipes up.

"What are the Boston Pops exactly?"

"What does stasis mean?"

"Do you think Mississippi is like a fun place to go? You just never hear much about it."

Some answers I know. Some I don't. I will, however, always provide her with an immediate response.

"Who is Kaiser Willhelm?"

"He was the last leader of the Austria-Hungary empire. He was also a central figure leading up to World War One."

(BTW these are all actual questions and answers. Sadly, nothing has been embellished).

I know I'm giving her inaccurate information, but I want her to think that I know about lots of things. I don't want her to stop asking me. I like being the person she comes to with questions.

"What's so great about Eric Clapton anyway? What am I missing here?"

"He's not so bad honey. Could you pass the salt?"

-Brendan

Comments

I grew up in Mississippi and it is a fun place to go if you go the right part of it. The coast is great.

I guess it depends on what you want to do.

Aww, y'all are too cute.

Wow, you guys are going around the world. That kicks ass because your doing what most wish they were doing.

Go to Mississippi! Have some sweet tea and pecan pie and enjoy it!

I hope that your reentry to the travelling world goes fine I think that Sara might be kinda mad at you, tho because of the question examples, She hasnt done that to you yet, has she? Enjoy!

aww... i love that little hiding innocence in Sarah.

You have to use "I don't know the answer to that. But I can find out for you." You're gonna have the girl walking around sounding dumb reiterating your fake answers!

You travel around the world and your observations are superficial, snarky crap? How undeserving.

I live in Mississippi and have to say it is a must see from our Delta casinos to the Katrina wrecked Gulf coast. And the croosroads of Mississippi where TN, AL, and Ms meet. Thats where I am from and it is rich woth civil war history.

The banter is wonderful, and I myself am the girl who asks seemingly stupid questions more for the lack of response than for the answer. It keeps things fun. I think she's aware that she asks you a lot of questions, and I think that it's endearing to her that you want to always have the right answer for her.

Go girl! He loves your idiosyncracy, and he still will years later.

And the ordering thing really is nerve-racking. What I put into my body is important, and God knows the waitress will judge you based on your order.

"This girl really knows her Chinese," she will say. Or, more likely, "Tourist."

Wow...so while I was away on my tour of duty some things really changed huh..
Your married to Brendan...I might have just been drunk, but werent you with that other dopey looking guy from Screen Savers..or Attack Of The Show...or whatever..by the way, what the hell happened to that show? Its like they just try and surround Kevin with some stupid girl with big implants and they expect it to be good...damn I remember when that show was good, back when the people on it were funny, and knew what they were talking about (ah the good ol' days)...okay so not a question, more of a rant..Im dont now