Life of the Party

Sometimes I think that traveling is aging Brendan and me at hyper-speed. And I'm not just talking about our thinning hair (yes! both of us! they say it's just the heat and humidity but who knows if it will ever grow back!!!). No, I'm actually talking about honest-to-god maturity. Growing up.

Let's use a recent evening we spent in Muang Ngoi, Laos, as an example. Muang Ngoi is a very, very small village in the middle of nowhere. So much so that there is only electricity from 6-9 pm. So by about 10 pm, after reading by candlelight or whatever for an hour in your bamboo hut, it's kind of time to go to sleep.

Except that one evening around 9:30 p.m., a large, drunken group of locals and foreigners decided that they would set up a big guitar Sing-a-Long party at a few tables 30 feet away from our room. Remember, these are flimsy rooms made from bamboo strips. Walls with lots of small holes. Not the kind of room that can shelter you from a group of 20 idiots trying to remember the words to "Hotel California".

I was annoyed. But it was only 9:30, and we figured they'd stumble off to bed soon.

By 10:30, the Sing-a-Long was twice as loud. I gave them until 11.

By 11, I had had enough. Trying not to think about the obvious similarity I was about to have with the neighbor lady who always ruined our high school keg parties by calling the cops (we HATED that lady!), I walked down to the group, prepared to be firm, but kind.

ME: Um, excuse me?

SING-A-LONG (in sloppy unison): "Up ahead in the distance, cool wind in my hair, and she said..."

ME (moving closer to get spotted in the candlelight): Excuse me! Hello!

SING-A-LONG: "Prisoners... and a shimmering light.. and she said..."

ME (screaming and waving arms): Hello! Hi! Hello!

(SING-A-LONG trails off)

ME: Hi, my husband and I are trying to sleep right up there (points into darkness), so can you please keep it down?

SING-A-LONG: (silence)

ME: Please, we're just trying to sleep. Right up there (points). I'd really appreciate it.

SOMEONE IN SING-A-LONG: Yeah, sure, sorry..

SOMEONE ELSE IN SING-A-LONG: (laughs at my expense)

ALL OTHERS IN SING-A-LONG: (refuse to acknowledge me and talk loudly amongst themselves)

ME: Ok, if you could just keep it down, thanks everyone. Thanks. (returns to room)

SING-A-LONG: "AAAAAAAOOOOOOOO HOTEL CALIFORNIA.. WHAT A NICE SURPRISE WHOOOOOOO"

At this point, I am very upset. I have listened to these clowns for too long already, I have asked nicely, and I have been laughed at. By at least four different nationalities. I want blood. But I am too small and non-threatening to do anything about it. This is where Brendan comes in.

BRENDAN (putting shoes on, fumbling with flashlight): Oh for the love of.... (starts walking toward group).

SING-A-LONG: "AAAAAAAOOOOOOOEEEEE"

BRENDAN: Excuse me! Hey! HEY! LISTEN UP!

SING-A-LONG: (trails off abruptly)

BRENDAN: My wife just came down here and asked you all to keep the noise down. And you didn't. My WIFE asked you nicely to KEEP THE NOISE DOWN (menacing tone, not unlike an angry beast).

SOMEONE IN SING-A-LONG (meekly): Ok mate, just chill out, just calm down mate...

BRENDAN: No, you keep the noise down. You keep it down, ok? I don't want to have to come down here again. Thanks. (walks away briskly, shoulders twitching in anger)

A FEW PEOPLE IN SING-A-LONG: Yeah, well, ok, goodnight everyone (stumble off)

UNIDENTIFIED GUY IN SING-A-LONG: (audibly vomits several times and disappears)

EVERYONE ELSE IN SING-A-LONG: (begin wrapping things up...total silence by midnight)

US IN BED: "They should really be more respectful." "Who do they think they are keeping the whole neighborhood up?" "Some of us need some sleep around here." "Well thank goodness. Goodnight honey."

Like I said, traveling is aging us at hyper-speed. We are only collectively 59 years old. It's frightening.

-sarah

Comments

This is so my fiance and I! Hilarious!